Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
