Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
