were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So many bounce houses so little time
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize