my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
