Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
