Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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