All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
