i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Enjoy the penises
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
