mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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