Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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