The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
