I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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