I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
