HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
