Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
