After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
