I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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