just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
being pregnant is like rehab
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
