yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
