have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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