So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
i believe in u and ur pee
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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