No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
