Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
