I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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