new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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