It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
