TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
