You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Enjoy the penises
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
