girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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