No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize