girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
