I can't watch pbs sober anymore
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
