I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Randomize