@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
