take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
PANTIES FOUND
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
