i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
