we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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