I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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