i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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