You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
