And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
