Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
did you just send me my own nude
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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