marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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