I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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