i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
