is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Randomize