The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
