so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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