Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
