I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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