I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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