awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
