I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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