No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
