I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
