I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
