Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
God gave him joint rollers for hands
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
