I wannas sexs uuuuu
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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