I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
