Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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