My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
