Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So many bounce houses so little time
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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